What you want when you were younger is not what you'll want when you are older.
When I was a kid my ideal prince charming is someone who can play basketball like my idol John Arigo. I want to become a wife or a girlfriend of a basketball player and not just become a fan. Now that I'm older, I think this is not really necessary. I'm 22 years now before I turn 23. I'm currently working already and no longer a kid. I guess things including your preference changes as you grow older. Currently, I have an amateur basketball player boyfriend right now. Of course, it was kind of a dream come true to me since ever since I want to be in this position. But I realized, being a girlfriend or wife of a basketball player ain't really easy. As a girlfriend of a baller, you need to be more understanding and patient especially when it comes to fans. You cant be rude to them. It's like you're the girlfriend but you can't just tell them to back off with your man since they are his fans. I've been in their position that's why I try to understand as hard as I could. But knowing me, I'm a very jealous person when it comes to my partner. I don't want any other women to get near my guy. But what can I do? As a fan of basketball before and until now, basketball players are known to be chased by girls. You can't avoid that fact. But on my part, I just hate those fans to don't know their limitations. And who don't know how to give respect and privacy to their idols. But of course it's always a CHOICE of the baller whether to ignore or entertain those fans who try to flirt with them right? I've been a basketball fan. But I know my limitations and I do not cross the line. I respect the relationship of my idols but if my idol will try to flirt and hit on me? that is a different story. That I wouldnt do because I know what is wrong and what is right. I know most of the basketball players are like that. Once they have a fan that is their type, they will take advantage of you and try to hit on you. And of course as fan, you can't avoid to feel special. BUT I tell you beware of those kind of people(jerk), it is not what you think it is. Too bad others are completely plain jerks....... they cheat on their girlfriends just for the enjoyment of flirting. Which is I think PATHETIC. I'm saying this as a FAN and A GIRLFRIEND OF A BASKETBALL PLAYER. To those players who can't be loyal and can't be true to their girlsfriends or wives, how dare you! Being a dick wouldnt make your dick any bigger. So better think twice because you lost your faithful girl. As for the fans out there, there's nothing wrong idolizing someone as long as you know what your limitations are. Now, what are my realizations now? As a grown up, what you want when you were younger is actually what you will want when you grow older. I always thought that having a basketball player bf is fun, now I realize that it's hard to be in their position. Now I dont know if this is really what I want. I don't know how long I could cope up with this kind of relationship or set-up. I'm just going with the flow and enjoying the relationship. Wish me luck and pray for me. But of course, it still depends on your guy. IT'S A ALWAYS A CHOICE. I can forgive once, but twice maybe is too much. Till my next post.
-Alen
I confessed:
Tuesday, October 29, 20132:12 AM
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~*Heiress 
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New Life
Hello Blogger, we meet again. It feels great that I can still have an access in this site. This has been like my online diary ever since I was a kid. Life is actually kinda different now. Less basketball, more work. I already graduated in college and currently working at this office in Ortigas which I kinda prefer since it's just one shuttle away from our crib. I must say that I enjoy my work here because there's really less stress and pressure here compared to any other multinational companies. But sometimes, it makes me think twice of how long will I stay here. I love the job and the position but I don't think that I am well compensated. I mean it's too low for a girl like me who has very high and big dreams in life. But as what they say, one step at a time. I'm still enjoying the learning process. Besides it's better to earn money of your own without dealing so much stress cause of work. But sometimes it frightens me that I am too comfortable here and when I already step to the bigger corporate world, i'll look so ignorant. Sometimes I question myself and ask Him, when will ever I get to chance to be accepted to my dream school ? or even dream company? It is because I always end up to something less of what I dream about. *sighs* It really saddens me that I always have to settle with what is OKAY. I want something MORE. More challenge, more money. But it seems that God never allow me. I know He has reasons why I am here. That's why I'm just enjoying the fact that I'm staying in a not so known company but enjoying the job with my happy peers. (bosses are not included to the enjoyable part though. haha!) But I guess, that's part of being an employee and having a perfectionist boss. I just hope that one day, I'll get the chance to work with my dream company, be stable and be well-compensated. I know that it only takes hardwork and confidence in order to achieve that dream. Wait and see and I'll be the next boss with no mercy. Of course, I was just kidding. I am too bored that's why I decided to sneak and blog.
As for my personal life, I am doing fine. I am happy now. Atlast. Altough there are times that people in the past go back. But I have a new motto now; never dwell into the past. Move one. Never look back. So yeah, I'm not looking back but sometimes you see you cant help but to miss all those good ol' days. Oh life. Oh college. Why do you have to end up so fast. But No regrets. I got a boyfriend now would you believe that?! haha After 3 years, I finally got one again myself another heartbreak. Haha! Kidding. I actually cant believe I have a baller boyfriend playing in the collegiate basketball league. Ever since, it was my dream to be the girlfriend or the wife of a cager and now it's happening to me! God. It's kind of unbelievable but yeah.. I'm not the fan anymore, I'm the girlfriend now. Whhacassaayy? haha But i think it's kinda easier to be JUST A FAN. Before I always thought of how I wish I was the girl whom *toot* fell in love with. Crazy. Haha. But when you're really in it already, it's not that easy. It's hard on my part seeing alot of girls cheering and flirting for my man that's why sometimes it scares me. But I know that God gave him to me for a reason. I need to trust Him for this gift. I just hope that he's already the one. *crosses-fingers*
Soo yeah.. I'm really thankful for what I have now in my life. I just hope and pray that someday it'll still get better. That's all. Need to end this before I get caught by my monstrous boss. Haha! *peace-out*
I confessed:
Monday, April 29, 20137:14 PM
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~*Heiress *~
Time to Reminisce
It's already around 2:40 in the morning. I don't know why I'm still up. We finished our defense for our Strama a while ago and I can say that we somehow did well. All of us actually did well. We deserve every positive feedback because all of us really put so much effort into this. We had so many sleepless nights just to finish and make a good Strama paper. Although there were some misunderstandings along the way, everything was worth it. It feels good that finally everything is almost over. We just need to make some revisions on some part. This Strama and defense for me is the highlight of my senior year in college. It was really a big relief when we finally finished our defense and what's more good about it, was that it turned out well.
So why am I still up? I should be resting and sleeping by now but I chose to open this blog again and blog about my life. I don't know if someone or anyone is still browsing this site. But who cares, I'm still gonna share about the things I feel at this very moment. I was actually browsing the net a while ago. I typed "John Arigo" in google and then it lead me to my site. Haha. It's funny. That's why I tried to look and read my previous posts here. It made me feel sad and made me miss everything. I miss my GS and HS days when I used to be a MAJOR and ULTIMATE ADMIRER, let me repeat that, ADMIRER and not STALKER of John Arigo. (Hahaha I don't want to sound so defensive!!! lol ) I read everything, my wrong grammar posts, my super hyper-kilig moments with John.. *sighs* I can say that I really miss the feeling. I miss the feeling of being in cloud 9. The mere fact of seeing him play live, the mere fact of taking pictures with him makes me the happiest person alive. I miss that kind of feeling. It may sound so shallow but what the heck. HE'S THE ONLY person who gave me that kind of feeling. I want to go back to my childhood days because before, those simple things can already make me so damn happy. Unlike now, everything's so complimated. Especially when you talk about "love life". Yes up to now, I don't have a boyfriend yet. I don't if it is them or is it me who have problems. Maybe both. Boys are hard to trust. Eventhough I like the person, I don't say them. I'm too scared and not that expressive when it comes to my feelings that's why everything's gone. Well, you can't blame me. They dont give me enough reasons to make them love by me. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to be alone. I want to be on my own. I want to listen to the music and just think. Think about what happened. I'm always like this. I'm always emo. That's why I hate falling in love. Err. I hate this kind of "falling in love". I want the kind of falling in love when I was still younger when I used to love John Arigo so much. (well, I still love him. NO ONE and NOTHING can change that.) I miss the simple things I do for him. I miss the old-happy days. No heartaches. I miss that kind of falling in love. I don't know if you can all it falling in love but that's the better way to fall in love for me. That's true love. (haha I know you're laughing at me. Please understand.) I MISS EVERYTHING. I really hope that one day I'll be able to meet the "John Arigo" of my life yknow. I miss him. I want to see him, watch his games, cheer for him and think nothing and no one but him. I MISSSSSSSSSSSSSS my childhood. HS and GS days are the best days of my life. *sighs* And now I'm about to take the last semester of my college life. Time flies so fast. I know shouldn't be stuck in the past. I should get mature because everything is different in REAL and CORPORATE life. That's why it really scares me. :( The best thing to do now is just to make the most of my college days because sooner or later, I know I will be missing this feeling as well. That's for sure. So, wala lang. That's for my update. I miss John Arigo so bad. I hope to meet him still someday. Hay.. how I wish to never grow up. I wish to be a kid forever. No problems to think about. All fun. HAAAAAAY. but that's what always happen in life. You fall in love, get broken,get matured, you grow, you stand up and you move on.
I MISS JOHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNN! I MISS MATAAAAAA! I MISS PARISS! I MISSSSSSSSS JOHN ARIGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. bow. Gotta end with this. I'm getting crazyyy agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. ciao! til next blog! ;)
I confessed:
Saturday, October 01, 201111:38 AM
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~*Heiress *~
NAKAKAMISS.
Hello my blogger. Wala akong magawa kaya naisipan kong mag-blog. HAAAAAAY. Summer 2010 na. Eto na ata ang last summer ko na puro petix lang kasi next year, OJT na. Time flies. 3rd year college na ko. Tas magwwork na. Hindi ko maimagine. K. Wala lang ulet.
Marami lang akong namimiss kasi. Katulad nito, ang pagbblog. Pagbblog na puro about kay John Arigo lang. Halos dati ibblog ko lahat every detail about him. Kung gano ko kasaya pagnakikita ko siya. I know mababaw. Pero masaya. Sa simpleng interaction with him masaya na ko. Manonood ako ng game niya, iccheer ko siya, pupuntang southgate, makakausap siya tas laging may picture. Haha. Ewan ko ba, sa simpleng ganong routine ko nung bata ko, napapasaya na niya ko ng sobra sobra. May something talaga sa kanya na hindi ko ma-explain. Whaat?! HAHA. Oo, seryoso. Minsan mas masaya talaga ang fantasy kesa sa realidad. Kasi kung titignan mo yung realidad minsan wala ka na lang magawa kundi malungkot o umiyak. Tignan mo ngayon, wala na siya. Di na siya naglalaro. Malungkot diba? Oo malungkot nga. Yun ang realidad kaya tanggapin na lang. Kaya minsan nakakamiss rin yung mga kilig moments, yung mga dating ginagawa kong kabaliwan makita lang ang ultimate crush ko. Ohwell. Nakakamiss lang talaga siya. Yun ang point ko. Nakakamiss ang fantasy at ang mala fairytale na storya ng buhay ko. Jk.
Actually hindi lang siya namimiss ko ngayon. May isang tao. Isang tao na akala ko naka-move on na ko. Pero mukang hindi pa talaga. May mga oras na naiisip mo na lang siya, na sana magkasama pa rin kayo hanggang ngayon, na sana ittext ka pa rin niya ng g'morning at g'nyt, yung mga away na nakakaiyak, tapos mauuwi rin sa lambingan. Hay nakakamiss. Sinasabi ko sarili ko na kapag bumalik yung taong yon, I will give US another chance. Pero mukang malabo na mangyari. Wala na rin kaming communication. Saka sa dami ng nangyaring problema namin noon, I doubt na gugustuhin pa niya ko, maging kami man ulit o kahit friends lang. Ewan. Sa ngayon malabo kasi feel ko may iba na siya. Ay hindi ko lang pala feeling yun. OO, may iba na siyang gusto. At feeling niya ata may iba na rin akong gusto. Which is wala naman talaga. Wala lang akong lakas ng loob sabihin sa kanya toh, "Ikaw pa rin naman e. Sana ako na lang ulet." Sige na emo na kung emo. Pero yun talaga nararamdaman ko MINSAN. Oo minsan lang kasi, may mga oras rin naman na naiisip ko yung mga sinasabi niya saken na sobrang nasaktan ako. :( Haaaaaaay. Hindi ko na talaga alam. Pero kung dumating man yung time na magkita kame, o yung time na gusto niya ko kausapin ng matino, game lang ako. Go lang. Ayos lang sakin kahit hanggang friends na lang kahit masakit. Basta maayos lang toh. Tanggap ko na naman na hindi na mababalik yung nakaraan namen. May sarili na kaming buhay ngayon e. Pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasang hindi umasa. Ang hirap mag deny ng tunay mong nararamdamanan e. Pero yun ang realidad. Wag umasa para di na masaktan. I-let go na kasi kung kayo, babalik yan. Pero mahirap eh. HAY. Ano ba to. Nalalabuan na ko sa sarili ko. Alam mo yung feeling na mahal pa kita pero na natatakot na ko? Na baka ganto ganyan. NAkerr. Maybe ang love ay di nga sapat na dahilan para mag stay. Kaya bahala na talaga. Ayoko na. OO ayoko nang umasa. Sana kaya ko. Sana kaya kong pigilan. Malay mo oo, malay mo hindi. Saklap.
O , so kumusta na nga ba ko? Yung tunay na ako? Sa totoo lang, medyo masaya na hindi. May kalungkutan pa rin talaga. Parang laging may kulang. Di ko alam kung ano o sino yon. Damn. Ang ginagawa ko na lang ngayon ay ang magpaka bum sa bahay at lumabas kasama ang mga kaibigan. Ang saya ng summer ko noh? WELL. HINDI SOBRA. Sakto lang. Oo nga masaya ko kasama mga kaibigan ko, pero iba pa rin e. May hinahanap ako na hindi ko alam kung siya ba yon. Ewan. Lagi na lang may kulang. Kahit nung birthday ko. May kulang talaga. Hindi na ko makuntento. Pero natutuwa ako kasi may mga kaibigan ako na isang text mo lang laging andyan para damayan ako. Damayan sa kaboringan, kabaliwan, ka-emohan kahit ang corny na. Sorry na. Ganon na siguro talaga ko. Masayang lumabas, friendly hang outs etc. pero bakit kaya ganon? Hindi ko mapigilan na mag compare kaya nalulungkot ako. TAE. Yun dapat ang gawin ko. Iwasang mag-compare para maka move on na ko. Para maging masaya na ko ng tuluyan at totoo. Para makita ko na yung taong magpapasaya sakin at magmamahal saki talaga. Kelangan kong buksan mga mata ko kasi yung hindi, masstuck ako sa past. Wala akong gagawin kundi ang hanapin ang nakaraan na malabong maibalik. Gaya ng nangyayari ngayon. Tama na. Tigilan na kasi. Madami pa diyan. Oo andami nga nila. Pero.. O yan na naman. Stop comparing. Open your eyes Alen. Grow up. :( HAAAAY. Sige sana kaya ko na talaga ulet. Sana kayanin. Sana. Sana. Sana. Kung ano man yang sana na yan sana magkatotoo. Kbye emoness-in-me.
I confessed:
Tuesday, April 06, 20109:57 PM
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~*Heiress *~
Hello blogger. Listen to my drama.
Wow. It has been 2 years since my last post here and I actually forgot my PW already that's why I needed to reset and have a new one. Anyways. I don't really know why I am blogging at this time. Maybe because this blog has lots of catching up to do? Hmmm. So, yeah. I'll try to recall and share some things that this blog had missed.
For the last 2 years of my life, 2008 and 2009, I can say that it has been good and at the same time bad for me. During those 2 years, I fell in love. Yeah. I don't know whatever you call it, but yes, I did. I call it my first love. WAAAAAH. :D And hmmm yeeah, for the first time, I entered a relationship. Whew. It was good. It was fun. It was confusing. It was hard. It was sad. It was an experience. A great and bad experience. Great, because in that short period of time, I was able to feel how it is to be in a relationship. I mean a REAL relationship. You two always text each other, update each other, go out on a date, watch the latest movie, dinner together, play sports together, talk on the phone 'til you guys fall asleep, exchange gifts during monthsaries, celebrate holidays together, etc etc. The list goes on and on. It's like a routine already. But the sad part there is that things will not always go your way. It has to end because it's not anymore working between the two of you. Oh well. It actually made me realized that it is not that easy to commit. I mean y'know. Ang hirap palaaaaaa. And if you want your relationship to work out, both of you must REALLY LOVE and TRUST each other. Relationships are not always about the sweet stuff etc. it's more on how much are you willing to love and sacrifice for that person, how long are you willing to wait for that person to change or what so ever. Eh? What am I saying ba? BASTA. That's life. I gotta move on. Maybe it was just a PUPPY LOVE? YEAH. I'm still young naman. And as of now I can say that I'm in the process of moving on. ;) I want to be happy. I don't want to get stuck with my EMO LIFE. geeez. BUT i know that it is not easy. NOT REALLY!!!!! :| But i'm doing good. No worries ;)
Hmmkaay. Change topic muna. JOHN ARIGO also left. He retired already. No more John Arigo in the PBA. :(( TAE. If I only knewwwwwwwwww na aalis na pala siya.. I should have meet him that day. ERR. sayang. HAY. :(
Why is that everyone is leaving nowadays? ESPECIALLY THIS YEAR. I super hate it. Hay. I just wanna share this. Last thursday, me and my college friends had our xmas party, we played this so-called "I've never" game. Basta you need to tell things that you've never done etc. And then if you have already done what your friend has shared, you need to take a shot. SO bukingan talaga. HAHA. It was fun. There was a time na naubusan na ko ng masasabi and the only thing i've mentioned was like.. "Hmmmm. I've neverrrrrr... loved this way before." OKAAAY. Sorry na. EMO LANG. :)) Then we also talked about things like, "It doesn't mean that if he's your first boyfriend, he's your first love." I was like, hmmmm. "Oo nga noh?" WALA LANG. For me, it is harder to get over with the person you never had but once made you happy. Sounds cliche? But maybe it's true. Hmm. Especially when you've realized that you really love this person pala and yet you weren't able to tell your true feelings for them 'coz you don't have the courage to do so. It's like your pride has taken over youuuuu. I mean gets? ERRR. Then suddenly you realized that it's TOO LATE. =(( NAKOW. The only thing you can do is to get upset and frustrated. Blame yourself for acting stupid and for making wrong decisions. TSSSSSK. Then there goes regrets. WHAT THE HECK. WHATTA LIFE. Okaaaay. Am I sharing too much?
Hmmm. Enough of that shit. Move on. Live life. Focus on your studies, Alen. Love will find its time. RIGHT TIME w/ the RIGHT PERSON. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. ;) Gotta go for now. I still need to wake up early. WHEW Kulang lang siguro sa tulog. :)) G'nyt blogger. :)
I confessed:
Saturday, December 19, 20098:22 AM
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~*Heiress *~
Hello 2008!
Few minutes to go and it's already 2008. Whew. Many things happened this year
(2007).. the good and the bad. *sighs* Well, Im really thankful for all of those... special mention my encounters w/ JA. Those are really irreplaceable. I miss that guy. I hope that he's happy now. And for the bad times, im also thankful for it. Yes, it brought pain but I guess, I just need to move on , be happy about it and accept it. Beacuse in those sad times, we LEARN something.
Anyhow, enough of the dramas. haha.
Lets all have fun! Have a happy new year to all! Cheers!
THANK YOU 2007! LAAAB. :)
I confessed:
Monday, December 31, 20076:53 AM
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~*Heiress *~
After 90 days.. we see each other again :)
DEC 16, 2007
Actually, this was never planned at all. haha. When we won againts MBM last wed. I just said to myself, "Parang gusto ko manood sa Sunday!" haha. I was really happy that game kasi.. so I told myself to watch. But there was no assurance that I can watch. I told my dad that I want to watch the game live on Sunday. We just bought the tix last Saturday.. and surprisingly my dad said yes. WHOA. haha. So last yesterday, (dec 16 2007) I was with my dad,ate karen and ate oya to watch the game. Tambak naman yung game. Coke was leading all through out the game. Asi was just spectacular! I actually laughed at Aranya when Asi rann after him and Aranya just ran back like a scared moure.. Mala tom and jerry yung eksena sa court. haha peace. :) the game was really physical. even the 2nd game. BGK won over MBM. And oh.. JA was just so offnyt. He didnt score. It's ok.. he just came from an injury. Anyhow, we still won the game. Congrats tigers! :)
During half time, ate anna gave me the cool armband and my gifts.. thanks a lot sis xtine and hannah.. also ate anna :)
After the first game, we waited for JA at SG. I was with Kuya Jason, Ate Anna, Ate Icae and Ate oya. Ate Rhea was there also. It's really nice to meet her again. Evertime I watch coke's game, sakto, umuwi rin siya from Singapore. hehe. so there, kwentuhan sa SG. Nakakatwa pa nga eh kasi nung andun na si JA I thought hindi niya kasama si Hannah, so when I saw her nawala ako sa sarili. Nahiya and all. Nawala ako sa sarili to the point na muntik pa ko madapa dun sa may tali dun.. dba ate ice? hahahaha. tae talaga. Buti na lang wala pa sila JA nun. Papunta na kasi kami dun sa may car niya. haha. So yun, kamustahan.. si JA masaya as usual. Ate anna also introduced me to Hannah.
Alen: Hi, I'm alen. :)
Hannah: Hello. How old are you?
Alen: Im 16
HannaH: You look so young. :)
Alen: :)
haha speechless ako eh. :)) she's nice tho. then yun kamustahan kay JA..
JA:Hey guys! How you doin?
... blah. nakalimutan ko na. haha
then, i asked him to sign the notebook.
Alen: John, is it ok to leave me a message here?
John: Sure.. oh... you gave me one like this before right?
Alen: yeah yeah..
John: is this new?
Alen: nope.. my friend from butuan sent it for me..
John: Ah... wow. *then nagsign na..habang nagssign..
John: how do you spell your name again?
Alen: It's alen.
John: Yeah yeah.. i know... it's L-E-N right?
Alen: yeh.. A-L-E-N.. one "L"
John: *signing*
Alen: oh.. you forgot my name..(i was just joking him haha)
John: No .. No..Coz Y'know Im poor at spelling.. *he ended laughing*
hahaha si JA talaga patawa. tas un, I greeted him Belated HAppy Birthday.. congrats him for the win and etc.
then he kept on saying "thank you" and all.. tas nag-apir pa siya..? apir ba yun o shakehands? haha basta yun. waaah
hay.. grabeh.. super namiss ko si JA. finally, my christmas is complete... after 90 days we finally see each other again! :)
Merry Xmas to all! :)
PS: Grabe. tagal kong di toh naupdate. haha super busy e. Nag-update ako kasi another encouter w/ john eh.. this blog can't miss anything about him y'know
haha till then :)
I confessed:
Monday, December 17, 20071:57 AM
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~*Heiress *~
aLeN . 16 . senior . kulasa . piscean . shoppaholic . basketball buff . blog-a-holic . loyal . moody . princess . hot . camwhore . net freak . 0310 . emef . eli0506 . Loves: John Arigo . Paris Hilton . Sam Concepcion . Dirk Nowitzki . Tracy McGrady . Simple Plan . Simple Life . Pussycatdolls . movies . clothes . fashions More?
